"Magpie Hall" - review

One of the fantastic gifts I received this Christmas was a book called "Magpie Hall". It's by a New Zealand author, who appears to have a good understand of New Zealand's history, at least in so far as our wild life, and the systematic destruction of it for the purposes of museum displays in "Mother England".

The main character is a thirty something year old woman with a liking for antique clothing, and tattoos, of which she has one for every time she has fallen in love (11 by the end of the book). She is also having an affair with a married colleague. Needless to say, she has to sort her life out.

Her Grandfather has died and left her his taxidermy collection, which was began by her great great grandfather, an adventurer and collector (and she latter learns, a tattooed man himself) who came to the country in search of natural wonders. She goes to stay in the family home before the farm is subdivided, and the house gutted out to become a bed and breakfast, much to her sadness.

There is a creepiness to the house that remains undefined for much of the story, which while mentioning that something bad happened when she was thirteen, leaves until the end of the book to actually say what that was.

The story of her ancestor and his marriage to his first wife is also told, made all the more interesting by the readers knowledge that she will eventually be murdered and her body never found.

This turned out to be a good read, and while the ending was not at all what I had expected it to be, this didn't take anything away from the story. I had expect, among other things for her life to be all sorted, and all the problems that arise neatly solved, this didn't happen at all, which I actually rather liked.

Turned Away Becuase Of His "Hat"

The other day the Cosmopolitan Club refused entry to a man because he declined to remove his turban, and their dress code states no hats. The club was hosting a special event in honor of this very man that evening, in honor of his work in the community.

As the turban is a part of his religious dress I would have thought he would be exempt. I would have thought that there would be a public outcry at a gentleman of good standing int eh community being turned away for wearing any garment that was so strongly linked with his faith. Apparently, not so much.

It made it onto the news and such, but the opinion polls on the various news websites shows a greater portion of respondents think the Club was right to turn him away.

All this does not effect me in the slightest, but it still seems wrong to me, that people don't see this as a weak excuse for discrimination.

Once again, I am a little embarrsed by my people.

Unexpected Sighting

The news showed a trailer for "Alice in Wonderland"!!!! And yes, it had the new and giant Cheshire Cat in it. It is even more evil than before, now it looks like my sisters cat.

oh the terror, and amusement and my own terror.

The only way I was able to get any sleep was to think of it as on of the monsters in "Where The Wild Things Are" which are not scary at all. Still, I suppress a shudder at the thought of it.

I Hate My Neighbors

My neighbor has crossed a line. It's called the property line I believe.

When I moved into my new place a little over eighteen months ago, I soon found out that the lady next door has too much time on her hands, as she came over to introduce herself, after I had been living there for a couple of months. She told me in great detail, the ages, genders and pet ownership status of all our neighbors. This included a run down on the hours worked by people in each house hold, very useful information if I was wanting to break into their houses. And, she told me all about how long I had been living there before I started parking my car in the garage instead of leaving it in the carport, neither carport of garage being visible from her house.

So, I have spent my days feeling very watched, and not free to do as I pleased in my own back yard, especially after the time she lectured me about how the tomatoes in my vegetable garden were diseased (actually a little wilted from the drought but otherwise just fine), a bit creepy as the vegetable garden is in the far back corner of my section and not visible from the street.

On top of this, half a dozen times now, I have come home to find my lawn mowed, privacy hedges pruned into ineffectiveness etc. This is not a friendly thing done by a nice neighbor, this is trespassing committed by a neighbor. The last time this happened, the person had come within the property line to gather up grass clippings which they then used to smother the artichoke seedlings in my garden, which all died. I have always suspected it was the husband of the spying on me woman, but could never prove it.

So on Saturday I came home, having been out for only a couple of hours, and my lawn had been mowed into the dirt (it'll be a long time before I have even grass coverage again). And, all the parsley in my herb garden pulled out, leaving a giant barren patch in the middle of my garden. The destruction was continued into the back yard where the main stem of my Italian parsley had been broken off and left on the ground. A bucket that had been sitting along the back fence had been carried across the property, up the hill and up turned on a post.

I was furious! So, well I didn't shout, but I wasn't quite either, swearing at the self important jerk who had killed my plants for no reason.

I went out again, to cool down where I wasn't able to see the distraction. Came home, and within minutes here came the number one suspect, strolling into my yard looking down his nose as my rosemary but otherwise puffing out his chest in satisfaction as he viewed the dust that had been my lawn.

He told me, as though he had done me a favor, that he had mowed my lawn. I asked him (very politely, no swearing, no aggressive body language, no shouting) why he had pulled out my parsley. It was "past it" he said. I asked if he had gone into my back yard as well, he denied it. But, honestly, the evidence said something different, and I find it hard to believe that two different people trespassed in order to kill parsley in the same morning.

So, I asked him, firmly, but polity not to come onto my property without my consent, I made it clear that to come onto my section when he knew I wasn't home was not acceptable behavior. He started carrying on about how if I looked after my place he wouldn't need to and how I should pay him for the work he had done, and how it hurt his knees. And I said that I would be happy to mow the lawn more often, but I required him not to come onto my property without my expressed consent. Because, lets be honest, he was in the wrong, he had no right to pull plants out, he lied about the extent of his trespass, and I had every right to take legal action against him for it. I was being very reasonable and polite in simply asking him not to come back.

He was furious and refused to agree to stay of my land.

I had to pay someone to come over the next day to tidy up his mess. And, as he and his spying wife went past, oh the look of satisfaction on their smug little faces. I guess they think I was submitting to their edict on the messiness of my garden and doing what they thought I should have done all along.

Clearly they need to be reminded of the laws regarding staying on their own side of the line, regardless of how they feel about plants grown for food instead of prettiness.

I also want to start keeping a couple of hens in my yard (I checked, and it is perfectly legal to keep hens in a residential property in my district), and now I have serious concerns about the safety of my birds while living next to this crazy couple.

So I'm moving.

T-Shirts for Scientists

I had this idea, that I could make and sell T-shirts, targeting university students or similarly educated persons. These shirts were going to have slogans and pictures that related to certain fields of science, and were incredibly funny to biologists, volcanologist, palaeontologists etc, but probably wouldn't really mean anything to other people.

For example...

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who speak binary and those who don't"
- poster on the wall in the mathematics and computer science department at uni.
See? Funny, but only if you know what it is talking about. I was going to make T-shirts along a similar vein.

And, all my university friends are scientists, we all call ourselves geeks, and are proud of it. So, I was going to call my label "Geek Gear", with the logo being two intertwined G's which was going to be on the shoulder or sleeve of each shirt.

But disaster!!! Geek Gear already exists; some one has already established a label with the name.

I have other ideas for names, but they just are not as good. The label needs to clearly identify the clothing as being for people of a certain type, in just the same way that labels like, I don"t know, "Barbie" automatically tells you the what-ever-it-is is pink and small. Geek Gear would have been perfect, so I am a little bit sad at not being able to use it.

I have been having my own shirts printed for years and years, with one of my originals being "I (heart) scissors". It was awesome; funny, and a conversation starter. I had thought that I could include this in my little range. But, then that lecturer had to go and brutally stab his girlfriend in the chest with a pair of scissors, so it could be a little distasteful just now.

On the bright side, I have shown my scientist finds a few mock ups, and have had really amazingly good feed back, with pretty much everyone wanting to buy them. So all is not lost, just delayed.

The Evil that is the Cheshire Cat

Apparently "they" are making a new version of "Alice in Wonderland".... I don't think I should go see it. It's not that I dislike the story, but I don't think I should tempt fate, as it were, by seeing it on a big screen, in a dark room.

You see, I am kind of scared of the Cheshire Cat. There is nothing about it that doesn't freak me out. Everything from it's sex-offender-who-escaped-conviction smile and evil clown coloured stripes to its dripping with evil voice! I'm telling you, no matter what that cat says, it is actually telling you that you are about to endure a slow and painful death, and it is pleased to be the one who gets to tell you, because it enjoys the look on your face as this news sinks in!!!! Oh, and then there's the disappearing bit by bit, and leaving just a piece of itself behind. (Shudder)

I know it's odd, but at the same time I can't quite understand how or why no one else sees how horrible and pure evil it is.

I had actually forgotten this fear until I was sitting in a earth and ocean science lecture, and one of the slides in the power point being used had the Cheshire Cat in the corner, for some reason. It was an actual effort for me to sit still and look at the screen.

I have now started to wonder if my dislike of animals sitting/standing too still and watching me is somehow related.

Too Many Berries

I went to the supermarket the other day, my head filed with visions of chicken breast stuffed with cream cheese and a home made basil & pine nut pesto, wrapped in streaky bacon, served with some kind of salad with avocado and walnuts. I left the super market with not one of the ingredients, but two chips of strawberries.

I got into the car, only then remembering that I had been to the supermarket already that day, having stopped in on the way to work to get something for lunch, and had on that visit already bought strawberries. So, two days later I still have the best part of a kilo of them to get through! Oh well, never mind.

This got me to thinking of things that can be done with strawberries, like tossing the hulled berries in a little lime juice. Or, included in a green salad, along with red capsicum (bell peppers), I know it sounds odd but together in the same bite it will make you appreciate capsicum like never before.

Carbon Credits Don't Do Anything

I am at work today, and despite the date that will be published along with this post, it is actually a Saturday morning, my being in the southern hemisphere and all. So I am feeling more than a bit complainy, but that is not why I started this blog, so I'm going to try to think of something else to write about.

Okay this is still a complaint, but at least it's not about work...


I don't like the emissions trading scheme National has come up with, I just don't see the scheme actually reducing carbon emissions.

The system proposes to give credits to people with trees, which are obviously absorbing CO2 from the atmosphere. These can then be sold to people in industries that release carbon into the atmosphere. Having purchased carbon credits, companies can then claim to be carbon neutral, as there are specific trees out there absorbing the equivalent volume of CO2.

This buying and selling of credits is supposedly going to cost each household $3.00 a week in the increase in both food and fuel prices. Increasing the cost of living does not benefit the nation.

This does not reduce carbon emissions.
This does not begin to address the matter of non-CO2 emissions, such as nitrogen gases, sulfur or methane, which are not absorbed by tress, but can still be "off-set" by the purchase of Carbon Credits.

Speaking of Methane...
The proposed scheme will require all farmers of both dairy and beef cattle to purchase credits to off set the methane emissions produced by the anaerobic digestion of cellulose in the cows gut. Oops, went I bit science geek there... farmers will have to pay for their cows farts.

Methane is a "greenhouse" gas. But to focus so much attention on this form of emission, and this specific source, strongly suggests a limited understanding on the part of our government. New Zealand is one of the small producers of Methane gas in the world, and yet we are the only country trying to do anything about it. Methane as produced by cattle has been labeled as the big bad wolf of climate change by our government, when our greatest emission villains lie else where.

I'm not saying we should ignore methane as a contributing factor in the alteration of the chemical makeup of the atmosphere, I'm just saying we have bigger fish to fry.

We really have to look at the scheme and ask ourselves, is the motivation really in meeting our obligations under the Kyoto Protocol, or in some kind of power playing within parliament? These suspicions are compounded by the lop-sided deal made with the Maori party in order get the thing passed into law.

What really is irritating about the deal with the Maori party, is that the benefiting iwi are not those that need help, they are the ones who have already made deals for compensation under the Treaty of Waitangi, and have strong financial backing. The small iwi struggling to survive in their ancestral lands, where few job or educationl opportunities are to be found, they once again get nothing.

To perfectly fair and up front, I am from Te Whauna Apanui, so perhaps I am a bit bias in wanting my small coastal people to get some help rather than just lining the pockets of those who don't acually need it. But, I wouldn't want to see my people spending the next ten years logging our forests for profit either.

If we want to make a difference to the "greenhouse" gas emissions we produce, we should not be punishing the industries, nor the consumers. Tax increases don't reduce emissions, they just makes people poorer.

A better strategy would be to provide incentives for positive change.
Subsidize the cost of planting trees on dairy farms.
Improve public transport to reduce the number of cars on the road, don't just increase the cost of registration.

We pride ourselves on being an innovative people, responsible for splitting the atom and so on, so why not out our money where our mouths are and provide better funding to researchers working on alternative fuels and more energy efficient technology.

Okay, sure with only four million people we have limited funding, I am aware of the limitations of living on a little island at the bottom of the world. But, before this whole recession thing, our government had millions of dollars in surplus funding at years end. I say, (long term perhaps) keep the promise of tax cuts in years to come, and put my money to good use.

I know, expecting anything reasonable and intelligent from a parliament peopled by bored millionaires is a pipe dream. Sigh.

No Free Copies

I love the story of the little red hen, who bakes a loaf of bread without any help from her friends, and then won't give them any, because they didn't do any of the work.

When I tell people I am writing a novel, there are a couple of different reactions they might have. Oddly, the most common response by far, at least from people who think they know me, is for them to ask/demand a free copy once it is published. They may do it with a joking tone, or they may not.

Why would you assume that you get fee stuff just because an acquaintance has 'made' it?

And further, the author only benefits from copies sold. I'm no expert on the topic, but I was fairly sure that the number of copies of the printed book the author receives is actually worked into the contract, and not really free, as the cost of them is deducted from royalties.

So, it's like the other animals wanting the bread the little red hen worked so hard to bake, having done nothing to help her, even when she asked. People who have never helped with research, or character development, not even helped with the odd word of encouragement really should not be putting in thier order of free book whenever I happen to get it published. It is just so irritating!

I, currently, have not one but three separate books waiting for me to write them. They are all complicated and interesting and I can't wait for other people to read them, so they will understand why I would spend so much of my time working on them with no promise of them being published at the end.

I am however, a bit annoyed with the circumstances of one, the oldest and only one I am actively working on. I still think it is awesome and totally worth the effort, but unfortunately the main character is a vampire, and when I had been working on it for eighteen months or more (I have a full time job so progress is slow) "Twilight" hit the big time.

I have always liked vampires, there's just something about them. So it seemed natural that the first book I should write would be about them. I was worried though, that if I read any other vampire books while I was writing it that I would find something that was better than what I was working on and become disheartened, or some of the other books elements would accidentally leak into my own work. So, I was very careful not to even read the back cover of any book that appeared to be about vampires, not even the ones with interesting titles like"The last vampire" (oh that inspired questions/interest as I calmly moved right past it).

Because of my care, I didn't even hear about "Twilight" until the movie was due to be released. I immediately resolved not to see it, nor read the books, and continue as planned. Then a friend gave me a copy of the book for my birthday, and I had to read it, and became momentarily addicted, reading the entire series in a week, and going to see the movie with the afore mentioned friend a few weeks later.

Luckily, my book is so completely different that there was no way for the "Twilight" books to have an affect on it; it is quite simply a case of vampire apples vs vampire oranges.

Unluckily, there is still a but, and the but is, the sheer popularity of "Twilight". You say vampire, people say "Twilight" and ask you if you're on team Jacob, or team Edward.

Those with good memories, or even just a particular liking of vampire tales, will be aware that vampires are cool, but like the Beatles, their popularity, or prominence is pop culture, ebbs and flows. Yes they are cool right now, but given time (in this case it'll take until the final book has made it onto the silver screen), they will fade form the minds of most people. And, once again, those who like vampires will be considered a little weird, until another book or movie bursts onto the scene and reminds everyone that vampires are in fact cool.

Last I checked, vampire titles by half a dozen different authors graced the shelves of my local book store. And to me, this spells competition. I don't want my novel to make its debut in the shadow of "Twilight". I want it to be spacial , and for its vampireness to be independently cool, not just borrowing from the popularity of other works. So, I have to wait.

It could be that there will be room for another vampire tale in the market place by the time I actually finish (given that I am studying as well as working these days). But, it also makes me think I should perhaps be focusing my energy one one of the other stories I have, none of which have vampires in them.

I'm still not entirely sure what I should do. I have come to a place of great difficulty in my vampire-related manuscript, and am concerned that if I put it down, I won't pick it back up.

Huh. Maybe, after however many hundred words, I just answered my own question. Back to forming the first vampire council I go.

Well, here we go, I have started a blog. Tah Da?

It's not a big thing really, anyone can have a blog, but it's still something that can now be ticked off the list.

The list being things to get done before my death... I figure I only get one chance at this life thing, and once I run out of time that's it, no second chance. So, if I am going to get good use out the one life I've got, it seems I ought to be organized; make a list, and work off it. This way I wont accidentally miss out anything important.

Not that I am overly organized, nor prone to list making, but... the list is written up inside a attractive looking book, with pictures of certain things being done, and dates etc. I think it will be interesting to look back on when I'm old and forgotten it all.